Well ain’t that somethin

Nothing, and I mean nothing, makes someone feel stupider than having to have extra classes. Not only was I assigned extra classes today they also split up our normal discussion group into two classes. Because of me. And no, I am not exaggerating. And this is all after I was on such a stupid high because one of my teachers told me how much I have improved since I started. Then BAM a smack in the face that I no longer have FIVE freakin hours of class a day I now have 5 and a half. I have an extra 30 minutes of class because I am stupid. Yes. I know this is how I get better. Yes. I know I will benefit from this. Yes. I get that this is good. But you must understand that this means I miss going anywhere with anyone right after lunch. This means that I felt incredibly hurt and publicly humiliated this afternoon when the entire COTI class was dismantled because I “can’t handle it.” And with only three weeks left? Why all these changes now. They knew my Indonesian wasn’t great when I came in. It was just frustrating with three weeks left, while I’m waiting to hear back from grants I most likely WILL NOT get because I found spelling and editing mistakes because ONCE AGAIN I’m an idiot, while I’m waiting to hear back form conferences, while I’m trying to get my comprehensive exams set up…. aka I’m overwhelmed and having 30 minutes extra class made me feel like a royal idiot today. It was less than pleasant is what I’m sayin. Even if it benefits me in the end… today it makes me feel pretty stupid and vulnerable.